kayla
what is an ashton and where can i find one

m....m...m
mama? ma? mommy?
m...m...
m..mY ANACONDA DONT

SPOOOOOOKKKKKY!!!!!!!!!!! buy candy and scaaaary costumes here!!!
JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOO

xylemphone:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off


poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post


seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they


religiousmom:

for my final trick, i shall turn into a disappointment


raypuaza:

can i stay at your place? no hobo

(Source: goldicrocs)


satanicnutellacats:

5th grade sex ed more like

image


nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

(Source: nickfuckface)


deliriosity:

honestly just want to die like 99% of the time